We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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