I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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