ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
