I'm drive I can fine osifer
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
