I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
