You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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