we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
