I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
