Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
