Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
