I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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