Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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