we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize