So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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