yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
