I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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