Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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