he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER