Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf

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  (650): i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf http://tfl.nu/sowb
  Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (1235)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..

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  (517): dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min.. http://tfl.nu/cx5p
  Replies (2) Good night (2012) Bad night (791)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.

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  (856): I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch. http://tfl.nu/64iu
  Replies (28) Good night (5158) Bad night (1142)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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  (604): she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me. http://tfl.nu/s0lh
  Replies (73) Good night (1346) Bad night (17688)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN

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  (513): direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN http://tfl.nu/vd6u
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (3529)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...

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  (248): Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed... http://tfl.nu/xlpz
  Replies (120) Good night (1572) Bad night (5264)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You totally left a blue butt print on our banister

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.

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  (417): You totally left a blue butt print on our banister (573): Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time. http://tfl.nu/r57f
  Replies (12) Good night (3345) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.

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  (248): Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated. http://tfl.nu/1crf
  Replies (21) Good night (2156) Bad night (3036)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."

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  (734): We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing." http://tfl.nu/cqut
  Replies (16) Good night (6248) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...

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  (401): Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him... http://tfl.nu/2jr7
  Replies (10) Good night (2207) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.

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  (773): I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea. http://tfl.nu/j1n0
  Replies (9) Good night (582) Bad night (1600)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats

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  (704): sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats http://tfl.nu/2wgg
  Replies (7) Good night (750) Bad night (1560)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  I'm so proud, I have tears

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  (330): I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out. (1-330): I'm so proud, I have tears http://tfl.nu/7h1f
  Replies (5) Good night (1071) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.

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  (806): Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment. http://tfl.nu/1xps
  Replies (7) Good night (900) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.

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  (818): I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole. http://tfl.nu/w948
  Replies (1) Good night (332) Bad night (631)

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