he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl