Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.