I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
