five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
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I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
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Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce