Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.

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  (760): Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later. http://tfl.nu/1m2z
  Replies (19) Good night (2889) Bad night (735)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all

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  (603): his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all http://tfl.nu/y0um
  Replies (53) Good night (661) Bad night (4581)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.

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  (262): I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter. http://tfl.nu/r6gs
  Replies (24) Good night (4119) Bad night (668)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.

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  (919): the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's. http://tfl.nu/kqcw
  Replies (10) Good night (4130) Bad night (831)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?

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  (405): i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk? http://tfl.nu/idqr
  Replies (25) Good night (5411) Bad night (1502)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.

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  (816): My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost. http://tfl.nu/27qj
  Replies (8) Good night (3274) Bad night (1014)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.

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  (301): Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard. http://tfl.nu/kick
  Replies (9) Good night (4129) Bad night (1018)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..

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  (570): Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." .. http://tfl.nu/4q08
  Replies (2) Good night (2317) Bad night (840)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.

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  (404): All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen. http://tfl.nu/mg75
  Replies (2) Good night (2242) Bad night (769)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.

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  (509): Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here. http://tfl.nu/v9yq
  Replies (10) Good night (1327) Bad night (1361)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...

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  (419): having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance... http://tfl.nu/f7dv
  Replies (7) Good night (2655) Bad night (790)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.

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  (352): I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle. http://tfl.nu/6oed
  Replies (15) Good night (3248) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?

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  (919): Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight? http://tfl.nu/hr5u
  Replies (3) Good night (969) Bad night (388)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth

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  (956): One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth http://tfl.nu/vmxy
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh

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  (518): you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh http://tfl.nu/hnvd
  Replies (6) Good night (1526) Bad night (372)

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