i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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