I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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