If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
