I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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