i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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