nut hugger
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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