The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
NoShamevember. You game?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
