My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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