Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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