are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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