Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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