"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize