hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
