left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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