I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
