Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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