I just made out with a guy for $7.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
