I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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