You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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