whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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