Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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