this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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