He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
