I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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