i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
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Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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