okay pat passed out under dana's car
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.