I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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