420 ftw
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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