First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
