i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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