i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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