Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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