My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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