I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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