So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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