; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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