fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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